Local Government Autonomy: Review Statutory Revenue Sharing Formula

By Angela Chukwuelue

I remember the exact moment I realised I was an introvert. It wasn’t during some grand epiphany, just a Tuesday evening, rain tapping at the window, the air thick with the smell of over-brewed chai. A friend had dragged me to a rooftop party in Lagos, all laughter and loud music and strangers asking, "So, what do you do?" like it was the only question that mattered.

Two hours in, I found myself in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub, breathing like I’d just run a marathon. Not because I was anxious. Not because I was shy. But because my soul had hit its limit.

That’s the thing about introverts. We don’t hate people. We just run out of them.

The Introvert’s Battery (And Why You Can’t Charge It for Them)

Imagine your social energy is a phone battery. Extroverts? They’re solar-powered, the more people around, the brighter they glow. Introverts? We’re old Nokia bricks. Reliable, but once that bar hits red, we’re shutting down whether you like it or not.

Here’s where most well-meaning lovers, friends, and relatives go wrong: they think solitude is a problem to solve. "You’ve been alone all day! Come out, it’ll be fun!" Fun for whom? Forcing an introvert to socialise when they’re drained is like shouting at a dying phone, "Just turn on! I need you!"

The Art of the Unspoken Invitation

Introverts don’t do well with ambush plans. "Surprise! We’re all going clubbing!" is our version of a horror movie jump scare. Instead, try this:

"There’s a thing on Friday. Zero pressure, but I’d love if you came. Text me by Thursday if you’re up for it."

That "zero pressure" is the magic. It says, I want you, but I respect your limits. It gives us time to mentally prepare (yes, we need to psych ourselves up for human interaction). And if we decline? No guilt. No follow-up interrogation. Just, "Next time, then."

Silence Isn’t a Crisis (It’s a Love Language)

Extroverts often mistake quiet for sadness. "You’re so quiet… what’s wrong?" Nothing’s wrong. We’re just marinating in thought.

Introverts communicate in subtler ways:

• The way we make your favourite tea without asking
• How we remember your obscure childhood fear of escalators
• That we’ll sit with you in comfortable silence while you work

If an introvert chooses to share their silence with you, that’s trust. Don’t mistake it for distance.

The Introvert Hangover (And How to Help)

Ever seen an introvert after a big social event? Hollow-eyed, moving like a zombie, craving carbs. That’s not fatigue—it’s system overload. Our brains process interactions like a supercomputer analysing satellite data.

Best thing you can do?

1.      Don’t schedule back-to-back plans

2.    Have snacks ready (seriously, glucose helps)

3.    Give us an exit route ("Leave whenever you need to")

When We Cancel Plans Last Minute

Here’s the brutal truth: sometimes, we know we’ll bail when we say yes. It’s not deception, it’s hope. Hope that this time, we’ll feel up for it. Then the day comes, and the thought of putting on pants feels like climbing Everest.

If you really love an introvert:

• Don’t take it personally
• Don’t demand explanations
• Just say, "Rain check?" and mean it

The Myth of the ‘Broken’ Introvert

Society acts like quiet is something to fix. "You should talk more!" "Why so serious?" As if every human must perform extroversion to be valid.

Here’s what introverts wish you knew:

• We’re not shy. We’re selective.
• We’re not antisocial. We’re differently social.
• We don’t lack opinions. We just don’t shout them.

How to Fight (Because You Will)

Conflict is inevitable. But yelling at an introvert is like throwing stones at a tortoise—we’ll just retreat further. Try this instead:

1.      Write it down: Let us process words on paper first

2.    Pause the drama: "Let’s both think and talk tomorrow"

3.    Speak softly: Raised voices short-circuit our brains

The Ultimate Love Test

The deepest way to an introvert’s heart? Not leaving when we push you away.

When we say, "You don’t have to stay," and you answer, "I know. I want to." That’s the moment we believe you mean it.

Final Truth

Loving an introvert isn’t about changing us. It’s about learning our rhythms, when to lean in, when to step back, when to just sit quietly together as the night settles around you like a well-worn sweater.

We may not fill every silence. But the ones we choose to? Those are the ones that matter.