Why Muammar Gaddafi Was Not As Bad As Portrayed

By Emeka Chiaghanam

The air in the coffee shop thickened when he said it. "You’re too pretty to be single." Her fingers froze around the mug. A half-smile, brittle as old glass, flickered and died. And just like that, the conversation became a minefield.

Single women don’t owe you explanations. They don’t need your pity, your theories, or your backhanded compliments wrapped in concern. Yet people, well-meaning, clueless, or just plain cruel keep lobbing verbal grenades like they’re handing out candy.

Here’s the truth: words can carve scars deeper than knives. So before you open your mouth, learn what never to say, unless you enjoy watching a woman’s soul recoil.

1. "Why are you still single?"
• This question can feel accusatory or imply there’s something wrong with her for being single.

2. "You’re too pretty/smart/funny to be single."
• Framing singleness as an anomaly despite her positive traits can make her feel like she’s failing societal expectations.

3. "You must be so lonely."
• Assuming loneliness based on relationship status undermines her independence and happiness in her current life.

4. "It’s because you’re too picky."
• Suggesting that she has unrealistic standards dismisses her preferences and self-worth.

5. "You’re Too Picky."
Translation: "Lower your standards so the wrong man can wreck you."
Imagine this: Sarah spent five years with a man who called her "high-maintenance" for wanting flowers on her birthday. Now she’s single, rebuilding herself brick by brick, and you’re telling her to settle? No. Standards aren’t pickiness—they’re survival.

6. "Maybe if you [did this], you’d have a boyfriend by now."
• Offering unsolicited advice about how she should change herself to attract a partner is condescending.

7. "Don’t worry, love will happen when you least expect it."
• While well-intentioned, this phrase minimizes the complexity of relationships and assumes she’s worrying about finding love.

8. "Don’t Worry, It’ll Happen When You Least Expect It!"
This isn’t a rom-com. Love doesn’t magically appear because you stopped "looking."
Megan stopped "expecting" it at 32. She focused on her career, her friends, her peace. Then her cousin’s wedding rolled around. "You’re next!" they cackled, as if her life were a queue. Spoiler: She wasn’t "next." And that’s okay.

9. "You’re intimidating."
Code for: "Men are fragile, shrink yourself."
If a man is threatened by your degree, your salary, or your refusal to laugh at his bad jokes, that’s his problem. Strong women don’t dim their light to soothe weak egos.

10. "Maybe You’re Too Independent."
Ah, yes. The classic fear—a woman who doesn’t need a man might choose one. Heaven forbid.
Lisa bought her own house at 28. Her dad sighed, "Men like to feel needed." Cool. Maybe she’ll find one who likes partners, not dependents.

11. "You’ll change your mind about kids."
Her uterus, her rules.
Claire’s been clear since college: no kids. Yet Aunt Linda still whispers, "You’ll regret it." Newsflash: Regret is possible either way. But assuming you know her heart better than she does? That’s arrogance.

12. "All the good ones are taken."
False. And insulting.
The "good ones" aren’t a limited-edition collectible. They’re people, flawed and evolving. Besides, if a man is only "good" when he’s married, he wasn’t good to begin with.

13. "You should try online dating!"
As if she hasn’t already swiped through 500 profiles of men holding dead fish.
Online dating isn’t a magic fix. For every decent match, there are 50 "U up?" texts at 2 AM. She knows. She’s lived it.

14. "I could never be single like you."
Translation: "Your life is my nightmare."
Singlehood isn’t a tragedy. It’s a season—sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance. Either way, it’s valid. Your pity isn’t helping.

15. "You’re lucky—no drama!"
Because relationships are the only source of human conflict?
Emma’s last breakup was cleaner than her sister’s divorce, but her sister still calls her life "easy." Never mind the job stress, family expectations, and the existential dread of turning 35.

16. "Do you regret focusing so much on your career?"
• Questioning her life choices insinuates that prioritizing other aspects of her life was a mistake.

17. "By the time you settle down, I’ll already have kids/grandkids!"
• Making comparisons between her timeline and others’ can create unnecessary pressure and guilt.

18. "I know exactly who you should date!"
• Pushing your opinions about her romantic life can feel intrusive and may not align with what she wants.

19. "You just haven’t met the right guy yet."
Maybe. Or maybe she has, and he wasn’t worth it.
Not every woman is single because she’s waiting for Prince Charming. Some are single because they’ve met enough frogs to know the difference.

20. "Aren’t you tired of being alone?"
• Assuming that being single equates to being unhappy invalidates her ability to thrive independently.

21. "Time’s running out."
Ah, the fertility panic.
Biology isn’t kind, but fearmongering is crueler. Some women want kids against the clock. Others don’t. Either way, her timeline isn’t your business.

The Bottom Line
Single women aren’t puzzles to solve. They’re not unfinished stories waiting for a man to ink the ending. They’re whole, right now, as they are.

So next time you talk to a single woman? Listen. Don’t assume. Don’t fix. Just let her exist, without your commentary.

Because the kindest thing you can say is often nothing at all.