By Angela Chukwuelue
The first time it happened to me, I missed all the signs.
One week in, he'd memorized my coffee order, sent "good morning" texts like clockwork, and told me I was "different from anyone he'd ever met." By month two? I was crying in my car because I'd "disappointed him" by wanting to see my friends. The whiplash left me dizzy, how did Prince Charming morph into a gaslighting villain so fast?
Turns out, I wasn't dating a man. I was dating a love
bomber, and I didn't see the red flags until they'd already wrapped around
my throat.
Here's what I wish I'd known sooner.
The Sugar Rush That Leaves You Crashing
Love bombing feels like mainlining romance. They flood you
with:
- Text
avalanches (Think: paragraphs waxing poetic
about your eyes at 2 AM)
- Future
faking ("Imagine us in Paris next
spring..." on date three)
- Soulmate
speedruns ("I've never felt this way
before" after 72 hours)
Here's the kicker, this isn't love. It's possession. Healthy
relationships grow like oak trees, slow, steady, weathering storms. Love
bombing? That's fast-growing bamboo: shoots up overnight, chokes everything
around it, then collapses under its own weight.
Spot the Red Flags Before You're Addicted
The Mirroring Mirage
Suddenly they adore your niche hobby? Share your exact values? Have the same
childhood trauma? Please. This isn't fate, it's manipulative mimicry.
They're studying you like a con artist profiles a mark.
The Isolation Playbook
"Your friends don't understand us." "Your family is too
critical." They'll whisper these lies like sweet nothings until you're
alone in their orbit.
The Gift That Keeps on Taking
Flowers on your doorstep. Surprise jewelry. That book you mentioned once. Seems
romantic, until you realize each present comes with invisible strings tighter
than puppet wires.
The Gaslighting Gauntlet
One day you're their "everything." The next? "You're too
clingy" for wanting basic communication. This whiplash isn't accidental, it's
how they keep you off-balance.
Why Our Brains Betray Us
Here's the brutal truth: Love bombing works because
it hijacks our pleasure centers. That dopamine hit when your phone
lights up with their name? The serotonin surge when they "just get
you"? It's neurological warfare.
Our lizard brains can't tell the difference between passion and poison,
both feel equally intoxicating at first.
How to Fight Back
The 3-Month Rule
No major commitments before 90 days. If they're legit, they'll stick around. If
they're love bombing? They'll vanish like fog in sunlight.
The Friend Test
Run their behavior by someone who hates them. If your best friend's face does
that "I'm concerned but trying not to show it" twitch? Listen.
The Slow-Drip Strategy
Match their energy. If they text novels, reply with paragraphs. If they plan
next summer, talk about next week. Healthy partners won't panic at pacing.
The Escape Hatch
Already in deep? Here's your exit plan:
1. Name
the game out loud to someone safe. Speaking the truth breaks
its power.
2. Document
everything. Screenshot sweet-turned-sour messages, they're your
reality anchors when gaslighting starts.
3. Go gray
rock.
Become boring. Don't react. They feed on drama like emotional vampires.
The Light Ahead
Here's what no one tells you: Surviving love bombing
gives you superhero senses. Once you've been love bombed, you'll spot
the fakes from across a crowded room.
And when you finally find real love? It'll feel... almost
boring in comparison. No rollercoaster highs and lows, just steady warmth, like
sunlight through a kitchen window.
Final truth: The right person
won't love you like a hurricane. They'll love you like the tide, constant,
life-giving, and impossible to drown in.
Your Turn: Ever ignored red
flags because the chemistry was electric? (We've all been there.) Share your
story below, let's turn pain into power together.
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