15 Ways To Love Like A Person Who Knows What Matters

By Emeka Chiaghanam

The sun was low over the lake, the way it gets when the air is clear and the wind has died. That’s how love should be, simple, steady, no need to shout about it. You don’t keep a fire burning by throwing a whole log on at once. You feed it slow, with good wood, and tend to it.

Here’s how to tend to it.

1. Write It Down. On Paper.

Forget the phone. A text disappears. A letter stays. Slip one into his coat pocket before he leaves. Leave one on her pillow, folded once, the crease sharp.

It works because it’s solid. Something to hold.

2. Cook Together. No Shirts. No Rush.

Pick something simple, pasta, maybe, or steak if you’re feeling bold. Open a bottle of red. Let your hands brush when you pass the knife.

Blindfold her. Feed her a strawberry. Let her guess what it is. She’ll laugh. You’ll want to kiss her. Do it.

3. Drive Nowhere.

Gas up the truck. Roll the windows down. Don’t pick a direction. Just go. Stop at the diner with the flickering sign. Order pie.

You’ll remember this longer than any planned vacation.

4. Lock the Phone in the Drawer.

Just once. Sit across from each other. Look at her face, really look. Ask her something you don’t know. Listen to the answer.

There’s a list of questions, 36 of them that make people fall in love. Google it later.

5. Dance in the Dark.

Put on that song, the one from the bar that time, when you knew. Don’t turn on the lights. Hold her like you mean it.

Science says touch makes you feel closer. Science is right.

6. Go Back to the Start.

Wear the same shirt if you still have it. Sit at the same table. Order the same drink. Watch her mouth when she smiles.

You’ll remember why you’re here.

7. Hide Notes Where She’ll Find Them.

In her boot. Under the coffee bag. On the bathroom mirror in the steam.

"I still think about the way you taste."

8. Get in the Water Together.

Fill the tub. Light a candle, just one. Play something with a slow bass line. Wash her back. Don’t speak.

9. Pack a Bag for Her. Don’t Say Where.

A cabin. A beach. A cheap motel with a decent bed. Tell her at the last minute. Watch her eyes.

Surprises matter.

10. Lie on Your Back and Look Up.

The stars are the same ones that were there when you were kids. Point out the ones you know. Make up names for the ones you don’t.

11. Make a Tape. Yes, a Tape.

Songs from the first six months. The one that was playing when you kissed her in the rain. The one she hums in the shower.

Send it to her at work. Write "Play me at 5:01."

12. Try One New Thing. Just One.

A blindfold. A whisper in the dark. A hand where it hasn’t been before.

Talk about it first. Then don’t talk.

13. Help Someone Who Can’t Pay You Back.

Serve food. Walk dogs. Fix something broken. Do it together.

You’ll remember why you picked her.

14. Build a Fort. Act Like Kids.

Use every blanket. String up the Christmas lights. Put on that stupid movie she loves. Let her steal the popcorn from your hand.

15. Say It Different.

"You’re the best thing I’ve got."
"I like the way you think."
"If I had to do it over, I’d pick you faster."

Love isn’t a word. It’s what you do with it.

Final Thought:
Pick one. Do it this week. Then do another.

That’s how it works.

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